I Have So Many Things In My Mind

It's an hour after midnight and I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I'm thinking about something. Nothing really important but still keep me awake. I just celebrate Efokids' first birthday. It's only a year but so many things have happened. Sometimes makes me laugh and sometimes makes me sad.

I thank God for the way He gives me so many lessons in my life. He taught me to be strong, he taught me how to keep business, He taught me to handle problems. And I love Him so much but He loves me more. Thanks God for letting me enjoy this one year, being someone who is in charge for everything. For letting me learn to be the best I can. I know this is not the end and I have to fight for many things in front of me, but God will always be my guardian.

Beside Efokids, I have many things that I want to do for the next project. I still want to make my own bag brand (which is in progress), I still want to make my own kindergarten (I hope I can make it in two years, or next year????). Oh yeah, I still have my bead project. Well, I'm a big girl with big dream.

The day before Efokids' birthday, I told my father about it. My father told me how the time pass by just like that. It goes without us realize it. Then it's came. My father asked me about my age and asked me about BF which is not my priority at the time. But when father asks you, you can't casually forget it. So it came to me and haunted me. After my mother passed, my highest dream is to make my father happy and to make my father proud of me. One of my father's happiness is to see me to have my own family. And I fell like I am thousand miles from it. I do want to get married one day, but not today. And looking for a husband is not easy as you're looking for employee (well, looking for employee is really hard). You can't just pick someone you know. And I don't really have time to build any relationship right now (or I don't want to try it??). And the main problem is I'm too far away from social life. I don't know someone new except for my pupil. I don't meet people, I don't hang out, I don't get out. So basically my life is around workplace and home. One of my friend told me to get BF from my Facebook. And the thing is I don't feel comfortable to talk on social media if they aren't my close friend. The conclusion is I am far away from the marriage life.

I still have one or two things in my mind but I can't share it. When you can't share your problem with other it's cause a new problem. So maybe tomorrow the problem will be three or four. Hahahahaha......

But I have changed, on my old days I took every problem really serious  and it's kill me and every decision I made seems not good enough. I was not happy. And now I am not the one I used to be anymore (thanks God) and I feel happy. And the best thing is I become very positive person. And I like it very very very very much.

Oh My God, it's two o'clock already. I have to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!